A New Job
Well, I have officially started my new job and it has been quite a whirlwind. If I had to pick one word to describe it thus far, it would be overwhelming. Change isn’t easy. I keep trying to remind myself of this. I know I can do this. I have been doing this for 7 years now. I guess I didn’t really expect this change to feel like a big change, if that makes sense. The work should essentially be the same, but I am coming from a pretty small firm to a much larger firm and they are in the middle of a huge software conversion. Basically everything that I learn right now is only going to be applicable for the next 75 days and then everything will change again. The first day was very trying and I was definitely second guessing my decision.
I started off that morning with an easy run with Daniel and left home in plenty of time for a quick stop at Coffee Loft before getting to the office. I was off to such a good start! And then, major coffee spillage (on a white skirt nonetheless). Not really the way I wanted to walk in on my first day.
I really had no clue what to expect on that first day (i.e., I had no control over what was going to happen that day), what the exact details of my part-time schedule will look like or what type of returns I will actually be working on. Fear of the unknown is very overwhelming to me, so I was already a tad uneasy about the whole situation.
The first thing we did that morning when I got there was to take a quiz called “kingdomality” which is supposed to highlight your personality type and how it fits into the corporate “kingdom.” Everyone was gathered in the conference room (cue social anxiety) while one other new hire and I took our quizzes. I usually enjoy little personality type quizzes, but this one not so much. They read the results out loud for everyone and we have a print out that we are supposed to put up in our office with our result as well. Here’s what I got:
Your distinct personality is The Black Knight. Your overriding goal is to win.
You approach each task or situation as a contest to be won strategically and efficiently.
Because you can control your feelings, it is not unusual for you to charm, as well as successfully delegate tasks and responsibilities to the more emotional types. You are often concerned with what’s in it for you. You seldom involve yourself in activities where you can not foresee a reward for your investment or effort.
On the positive side, you can be analytically empathic and logically persuasive.
On the negative side, you may be unemotionally manipulative as well as impulsive.
Yikes. I mean, really? Unemotionally manipulative. So the rest of the day I am questioning myself. “Am I really manipulative? Holy cow, I’ve never thought that about myself before. I sure hope that isn’t right. Now all these people think I am a horrible person.” So, lots of self-doubt going on in my ‘lil brain. I know I am competitive, so there’s probably something to that, but I definitely did not control my feelings for the rest of the day.
It seemed like one thing after another and eventually I just broke down. That day ended with lots and lots of tears. I guess sometimes you just really need to cry it out. Here’s a tip though, crying dehydrates you. If you’re gonna cry it out, drink it up. I felt absolutely horrible by the end of the day. As I am typing this now (Wednesday), after lots of prayer and encouragement from friends and family, things have started to get better. Remember how I said I wanted to do a post about control? Well, yeah, I need to do some reflecting there and try to not let myself get so worked up. God’s got this.
Race Recap: Crime Prevention 5K (A New PR)
And now, on to the fun part! Yesterday evening I ran the Crime Prevention 5K in Mobile. It’s fun to do an evening race (just for something different) and the race usually has a pretty good turnout. This was my sixth year to run it. Daniel met me downtown after work and we did a 2 mile warm up together, and then found some friends and chatted for a little bit before the race started. Going into the race, I had a few goals in mind: 1) average at or under 6:10 pace, 2) beat last year’s time (19:35), 3) negative split (run each mile faster than the last), 4) win, and 5) have fun 🙂
I was in about 4th place (for females) through the first half mile or so. There was a pack of about 7 runners all keeping around the same pace, a pace that was a little faster than I was thinking I was going to start off at, but I knew if I didn’t stay with them, I was going to end up in no man’s land and have to work by myself. I decided to take a chance and push the pace some to keep up with the group. We came through the first mile in 5:54. A tad faster than I was aiming for, but hey sometimes you just gotta go for it and I was feeling good! I moved up into second female during the second mile and we came through that mile in 5:53. At this point, I knew if I could just hold this pace, I was on track for a PR. Thankfully, I was able to stay with one of Daniel’s training buddies, Jim, for almost the entire race. He is a human metronome and having someone to work with and keep the pace even was a huge help! I passed the first place girl somewhere right after mile 2 and then we saw Daniel shortly after that. Oh, hey!
Seeing Daniel was a big boost (he was there spectating, not racing) and I was all smiles going into the last mile because I still felt really strong. The last mile was 5:58, and the last .1 was 0:36. I had a total time of 18:21 on my watch, but the “official” time on the results is 18:23, so we will have to go with that.
I didn’t quite get that negative split goal, but I did get all of the others! I really enjoyed the race and feel like I ran smart and gave it my best effort. It is so nice to have a tangible result to see that all of the training is paying off. Daniel and I ran a short cool down after the race and then stayed around for the awards. I won a $100 gift card to McCoy Outdoor Company, which I am pretty excited about! I was a frequent customer there when I worked in Mobile, so I am excited to go back and see Joe and the staff there and pick out something fun.
And just a little shameless plug (because I don’t think I’ve shared this on the blog yet), please vote for me to be on the cover of Runner’s World. I am a semi-finalist, but need your help to make it to the finals! I would really appreciate your votes and if you would share with your friends and/or followers. You can vote once a day through August 16th. Here is the link. #RWCoverSearch #1400
Thanks y’all! I hope everyone is having a good week!