(Insert Imperfect Title Here)

Hey guys! I’ve been missing you. Well, technically I guess I’ve been missing writing, but I’m writing to you so it’s basically the same. My “part-time” job is more like a full-time job at the moment, because September 15th and October 15th are big deadlines for us CPA types (those are the extended due dates for business and personal tax returns). I am definitely not complaining. I am very thankful to have a job and even though I am working 40 hours a week, it has typically been much more, so 40 hours is still part-time. It’s just that when you add in coaching, training and you know, regular life into the mix, the free time available for blogging is basically non-existent.

I have been thinking a lot about a few things that I want to write about and I have also been thinking about how to make time for blogging in my schedule … I am hoping to get in at least two posts a week (on Wednesday and Sunday). Ideally, I would like to do more, but for now I am gonna aim for two. Hopefully it will be one of those under promise and over deliver scenarios and hopefully by me putting it out here, I will stay more accountable to my plan. I really enjoy writing. I think it is because it is one of the few times during the week that I just sit still and think. Otherwise, I am a pretty on-the-go person, even when I don’t really have anything to go and do (if that makes any sense). I like to keep myself busy, but now I am starting to see the value of just being still and writing/thinking. I digress … It is Sunday afternoon, which is the time that I have alloted for blogging, so let’s get on with it!

First let’s catch up on training. 10 (ish) weeks to go until NYC! This week was a pretty good week. I’m having to make a more conscious effort to get up a little earlier and to plan ahead at the beginning of the week so that I get all of my runs and workouts in, but it’s been a pretty easy adjustment. I had a strong tempo run, ran lots of hills and had a really good long run. Whew!

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I’m trying to think what else has been going on that we need to catch up on. This post is going to get wordy (consider this your fair warning), so let’s just make a list of the “updates”:

  • Wednesday evening I met with a couple of ladies to discuss the nutrition presentation that we will be doing for our training groups this coming up week. You can go ahead and expect a post on that. I have been given the topic of “what to eat and drink before, during and after your run.” Simple enough right?
  • I got my August Stitch Fix box! As per usual, I love all of it. Thank goodness for the buy-all discount 🙂

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  • I also got a really cool product in the mail to test out and review. It’s called Tiger Lady. More to come on that soon.
  • I picked up this really cool recipe book at the store. It is 50 quinoa recipes. They have breakfast, lunch, dinner and even dessert recipes and they all look so. good. And I haven’t made any of them yet. Bummer. It’s the thought that counts right? Maybe not in this case.
  • Thursday I went to a continuing education class. I won’t bore you with the details. You’re welcome.
  • My training group is doing so well! They ran 13 this week and have 15 next week, which means it will be the longest some of them have ever run! Yay for first-time marathoners. You only get one first marathon and I am so excited to be part of theirs.
  • The bay is ridiculously pretty right now. Fall is the best time on the bay. We have been seeing shrimp boats and lots of porpoise right out in front of the house.
  • Daniel is having the small group guys over here this week, so we just spent a decent amount of time doing a quality cleaning. It is so nice to have that done! Any one else out there only clean the house if company is coming?
  • I finally made it back to yoga this week. I have really been missing that too! That’s another good time during the week for me to think and relax. Although I must say, this week’s class was tough. I think my legs were actually on fire at one point.
  • I think that pretty much covers it for now. On to the rest of things!

Our yoga instructor shared a poem with us at the end of the class that I really liked. A lot. It is called “Walk Slowly” by Danna Faulds.

It only takes a reminder to breathe,

a moment to be still, and just like that,

something in me settles, softens, makes

space for imperfection. The harsh voice

 of judgment drops to a whisper and I

remember again that life isn’t a relay

 race; that we will all cross the finish

line; that waking up to life is what we

were born for. As many times as I

 forget, catch myself charging forward

 without even knowing where I’m going,

that many times I can make the choice

 to stop, to breathe, and be, and walk

 slowly into the mystery.

First of all, Walk Slowly? I mean if I were writing a poem, I think I would want to title it Run Fast. Am I right? Such a contrast, and yet, I think that is the whole point. Here is where I make this another #keepitreal post and talk about how I struggle with perfectionism and people-pleasing.

I am a perfectionist. There, I said it. I want to excel at everything that I do. And since we are being honest here, this has kept me from trying yoga in the past. I knew that I would be horrible at it. I’m not flexible. I don’t stretch. Even though I knew it would be good for me, I didn’t want to do it because I didn’t think I would be good at it. How silly?!

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Tin man doesn’t do yoga. Or maybe he does … Well, he at least tries! As you probably all know, I tried yoga this summer. And I’m not good at it, but I still like it and that is very refreshing.

I know that I have mentioned it before, but I am reading a book called ‘Gaining, The Truth about Life after Eating Disorders.’ There is an entire chapter devoted to perfectionism and I found it to be really interesting and very helpful. I’m going to share some of it here with y’all in case anyone else is in the same boat.

In the book, the author basically identifies several early childhood traits that foreshadow eating disorders. They are 1) perfectionism, 2) inflexibility, 3) discipline, 4) doubt and cautiousness and 5) drive for order and symmetry. She even states that each childhood characteristic multiplies the risk of developing an eating disorder by a factor of nearly seven. She writes, “That meant that if you possessed all five of the traits they measured, you would be thirty-five times more likely to have an eating disorder than someone who happily wore mis-matched socks.” This seems like a really bold statement to make, but as a cautiously inflexible disciplined perfectionist with an intense drive for order and symmetry, I am thinking maybe she’s on point with this. Luckily, this is just a post about perfectionism, although we might have just identified some more potential topics for future posts …

The problem with perfection is that, by definition, it is unattainable, so perfectionists live in a perpetual state of frustration and disappointment. This dissatisfaction is internal. Perfectionism, like shyness, stubbornness, curiosity and impulsiveness is a function of the temperament that you are born with. If you are a perfectionist, your instinct is to perform flawlessly or else, in your mind, you are a failure. This is why criticism feels so threatening. It is also why perfectionists tend to excel when standards are clear and crisp, as in school or sports or jobs like accounting (um, hello?), engineering or science. The emotional promise of perfection is security: no one will criticize you, try to change you, or touch you if you have your universe in order. But because perfection is impossible, frustration is inevitable and at times unbearable.

No one is perfect. Everyone has limits. What kills us will not make us stronger or prettier or more lovable. A sense of purpose, connection and perspective, however, can and will.

The Bible tells us in Romans 3:23 that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” and in Psalm 53:3 that “there is no one who does good, not even one.” We don’t have to be perfect, because we have a perfect Savior. Hallelujah!

People pleasing is something that I think likely goes hand-in-hand with perfectionism. You “aim to please” and want everyone to like you, but unfortunately, this means that you are putting your emotional well-being into the hands of others. Just like it is impossible to be “perfect,” it is also impossible to please everyone. This is something that God has been really trying to remind me of recently. Some people are not going to like us, no matter who we are or what we do. And that is okay. We have to be courageous enough to be who we are and stand up for what we know is right.

In summary … It is okay to not be perfect. It is okay if everyone doesn’t like you. I just wanted to encourage y’all to do your best and stay true to yourself in whatever you are doing. That is all we can do. And you know what? It is more than enough!

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That’s all I’ve got for now. I hope that everyone has an perfectly wonderful week! I’ll talk to y’all Wednesday!

 

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4 thoughts on “(Insert Imperfect Title Here)

  1. Love, Love, LOVE this post! It hits home for me, too. 🙂 And you’re right, we ARE enough! See ya Tues. 🙂

    Oh, and I finally got a decent Stitch Fix. I didn’t keep everything, but it was better. Guess I’ll keep it for now. Your stuff is super cute; I especially love that striped dress!

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  2. I so needed every word of this. I am feeling like such a failure these days. Very imperfect. When my whole world revolved around what size of pants I could fit into, how much did I nail my last workout. Blink and it’s a new world order that does not involve these things. I am learning that life is so much bigger than these trivial things. When (yes when!) I get back I hope to bring with me a whole new self awareness. Keep posting Sam!

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  3. Sam, I DEFINITELY believe that perfectionism and people-pleasing go hand-in-hand; I am a great example – ha! Things are getting a little better, with age, but it’s still a daily struggle; at least I recognize it now. Kudos to you on your training; you’re doing GREAT!! I know it’s tough with work, life, etc. (I work a minimum of 40 hrs/week all the time), but you’re doing a great job keeping up with things and, yes, sometimes blogging has to (and should) take a back seat. Thanks for keeping us up to date; I’ll be thinking of you!

    Liked by 1 person

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