I recently reconnected with one of my friends from college who is very involved in the Distinguished Young Women (formerly Junior Miss) program in my local area. She asked me to come speak to the contestants about my running story. Me being … well … me, I wrote out everything I planned to say. I’m pretty sure that some of it got lost in translation, as I was pretty nervous. Oh! And I forgot to put on deodorant beforehand. Lovely. Insert facepalm.
Now first … I’ve said this before but it is worth repeating, my dad once told me that I write better than I talk. There is definitely some truth to that. I actually told the girls this before I started and told them they were in for a real treat. I’m assuming Julie didn’t realize this before she asked me to come speak. Ha!
Opening
Fitness is defined not only as “the condition of being physically fit and healthy,” but also refers to “an organism’s ability to survive in a particular environment.” Running and fitness play a huge role in my life and have even given me the ability to call myself a “survivor.”
Before we get too far into this, I should probably tell that you that I actually participated in this program myself, back when it was Junior Miss. I was the second runner up in my (very small) county in 2003, but just to give you a full disclosure up front, I didn’t even place in the fitness portion of the program. Whomp. Whomp. I was an athlete and not a dancer, which doesn’t bode well for the scoring (not that I am still salty about it or anything).
Introduction
I want to share a little bit about myself and my fitness background. I work full-time as a certified public accountant (CPA), I am a runner, I am passionate about running and fitness, I have a blog where I write about my training, I got married in May and I live on a farm with chickens, ducks, goats and my adorable golden retriever, Brooks.
I have been involved in sports my entire life. In high school, I played softball, tennis, volleyball, basketball and ran track. Running wasn’t exactly high on the list as far as my love for it or my ability to do it at that time though. I tried out for track in junior high and didn’t even make the team. This probably had something to do with the fact that I couldn’t even run the entire 800 meters, the event that I tried out for, without walking. It was highly embarrassing.
I got a lot more into running in college, after taking “jogging” as an elective. There were no more organized sports and I really missed that. Our bodies are made to move! Running helped me to realize that my body could do things that I didn’t think it could, like run a half marathon. Running also helped to realize that, in general, I am capable of so much more than I ever imagined. I fell in love with running.
However, almost just as quickly as I fell in love with running, something terrible happened. While I was out on a training run, I was attacked, kidnapped and raped. This event changed my life in more ways than I could’ve even imagined.
I am now 15 years removed from this “event” and it has certainly been a bumpy ride filled with highs and lows. There is not a one size fits all way to recover from or deal with hardships. For example, I struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder and an eating disorder in the wake of this event. I was incredibly conflicted. I was extremely thankful to be alive and yet also scared to live. I was terrified that something else bad was going to happen and I wasted a lot of years being fearful.
There were even several years where I didn’t run at all. It took every single ounce of clarity that I could muster from my struggling mind, body and spirit to focus on my academics. After I finished college, I went to graduate school and eventually went on to sit for and pass the CPA exam. Once I got to this point in my professional career, I started to entertain the idea of running again. I met a group of local runners and started doing group runs and workouts with them. Prior to this running had always been a solo endeavor for me, but I really enjoyed the community aspect that this group provided.
Since then, I have gone on to win 4 marathons and in the last year and a half, I even placed in the top 50 of two national races. I now use the phrase “run to overcome” as a way to remember that what happened to me was not the end of my story, in fact it was only the beginning.
After I won the first marathon, I knew that I had to tell my “from victim to victory” story. I hoped that my story would resonate with people on many different levels (whether it be overcoming injury, illness or some other affliction) and that I could inspire people who were in the midst of their own struggles to keep fighting.
There are three main things that I hope you can takeaway from my story:
1. Expect the unexpected.
Life is going to be full of unexpected events. We can plan for a lot of things, but a lot of things, if not most things, are completely out of our control. Take COVID-19 for example. One year ago, would any of us expected that this would be the situation we would be dealing with? Absolutely not.
In any given situation, the only thing you can control is your reaction. What you do after a setback is what defines you, not the setback itself.
I certainly didn’t expect what happened to me to happen. It was completely out of my control. We are all going to experience hardship, obstacles and other unexpected events in the course of our lives. We have to view each obstacle as an opportunity for growth and learning in order to truly overcome the circumstance.
2. To find strength, you have to be vulnerable.
I am a big believer in therapy and, in general, sharing your struggles with someone, whether that be a pastor, a therapist, a friend, a family member, random strangers on the internet, etc. Openly talking about something removes power from the situation and promotes healing. There is a quote that says a “shared joy is a double joy” and a “shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” In my experience, this has definitely been the case.
Do not … I repeat … do not try to stuff your struggles away and think that they will go away on their own. While that might seem to work in the short-term, you are only setting yourself up for long-term failure. Being broken in one area of life will undoubtedly lead to brokenness in other unrelated areas. You can’t compartmentalize hurt or pain and you will become “septic.” You have to face your struggles head on and deal with them in order to truly move on with your life.
It’s easy in this Social Media dominated world that we live in to assume that everyone else has it together and if you don’t, you feel isolated and alone. I promise you that this is most definitely NOT the case. No one truly has it together and the people that appear to are likely struggling just as much if not more than the next person. It’s not easy to be vulnerable, but once you open up, I think you’ll be amazed at how many people will say #metoo.
3. Everything in life that is worth having is worth working for.
The thing about running (and life in general) is that you will never master it. You will never be perfect at it. You challenge yourself every time you lace up your shoes. Some days everything clicks and you might feel like you were born to do this and other days it may feel like a struggle, but every day is an opportunity to give it your best, to see what you can accomplish and to improve.
Training for and running a marathon is hard work. It often means early morning wake up calls to get runs and workouts in before work. It means going to bed early to make sure that you get enough sleep to allow your body to recover and be ready for the next workout. It means fueling yourself properly with nourishing food so that you can perform your best. None of those things are “easy” to do, but they are without a doubt worth it. The joy and satisfaction that comes from setting a goal and working hard to achieve it is unlike anything else that I have ever experienced.
All of you have been given talents. You wouldn’t be in this competition is you weren’t talented, smart, athletic, etc. You’ve all got goals that you have set for yourself. Work hard to achieve those goals. When you do, celebrate and then set bigger goals and get back to work.
To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
Closing
In closing, I want to touch on the Be Your Best Self portion of the program. The program has really evolved since I was in it, but it’s so cool to see how the different parts of my life align with the principles of the Be Your Best Self program (even after all. these. years.)!
1. Being healthy – Of course this is right up my alley. We’ve definitely talked about my running at this point, but I also make other healthy habits, such as getting enough sleep, drinking plenty of water and nourishing my body with good food a priority. And really, being healthy means more than just being physically fit, it also means being healthy mentally and emotionally as well. You can’t neglect any of these areas if you want to be truly healthy.
2. Being involved – Running has opened so many doors for me to be involved in the local community. I have coached training programs at local running stores and have coached for Girls on the Run (GOTR), an organization created to inspire and motivate girls, encourage lifelong health and fitness, and build confidence through running.
3. Being studious – My mom instilled amazing study habits in my from a very young age and my school work and grades always reflected that. Being the overachiever that I am, I even graduated from high school and college with a 4.0 GPA. And I’m here to tell you that isn’t because I am just *that* smart, it’s because I studied A LOT. Some people will tell you that “grades don’t matter,” and there is some truth to that, but only later in your career once you have actual work experience. At that point work experience is more valuable than test scores. Having good grades in college and graduate school shows potential employers that you are willing to put in the work. After college I went on to get a masters in tax accounting and then sat for and passed the CPA exam. Even now, I try to continually learn new things.
4. Being responsible – Growing up and being an adult certainly comes with responsibility. Being responsible isn’t always the “fun” thing to do, but honestly, there’s not really any other option. I try my best to balance my career with my passions and my social life and my responsibilities on the farm. There are times when I have to sacrifice doing something “fun” or spending time with friends because something else takes priority and has to be done.
5. Being ambitious – I still have some really big goals, both professionally and personally that I want to achieve. With running specifically, the biggest goal that I have set for myself is to qualify for to run in the Olympic Trials marathon. I will have to wait four years to go for this one again, but I will keep showing up because everything worth achieving is worth working for!
I want to leave you with one final story about an olive. Hear me out for one more minute. Where light is needed, oil is needed and oil comes from an olive. In order to get oil from an olive, the olive has to be pressed and crushed. Doesn’t sound fun does it? However, the pressing and crushing is what allows the oil to emerge. The oil is considered to be the most valuable part of the olive and it wouldn’t even exist without the “hardship” that the olive has to endure. The oil can then be used to create glorious light! The olive’s greatest hardship turns into its greatest purpose and the same can be true for us.
I truly hope that something that I have said has resonated with you on some level. Life will be filled with unexpected moments and highs and lows. If you keep working hard and striving to be your best self, some of your biggest struggles might just turn into some of your greatest moments.