Thinking Out Loud

Hello and happy Thursday (aka New Year’s Eve)! Here in blog land, Thursdays are for thinking out loud. So without further ado …

I’m pretty excited to be taking part in this blogger’s linkup this week. It’s one that I have thought about joining many a time, but it seemed like I never could quite make the time to get a post done in time.

Speaking of posting, I’ve been thinking out loud about things that I want to write about and what the purpose of the blog is. Honestly, when I started out I had no clue what I was getting into or really what the purpose of the blog would be. I felt like I was supposed to share my story and I did that. Now what?

Ehh, well technically I shared an overall summary, but there is still much more to write about. At some point, I want to write a post about my eating disorder story, my running story, my journey of healing from trauma, etc. I’ve set up the big picture for you, but I want to delve more into the details of the specific parts of the story.

I wanted to make blogging a big part of my life. When I started the blog, I was taking a break from a stressful work situation (which I may or may not blog about more in depth at some point) and for a hot minute I thought that I just might be able to turn this thing into a full-time, paying gig. So yeah, that is much harder than it seems.

One thing with blogging that I definitely struggle with is the line between self promotion and staying humble. The thought of promoting my blog really makes me uncomfortable. From what I can tell, if you want to have a successful blog, you have to really put yourself out there and promote it. I have posted links to some of my posts on Facebook and Daniel has as well, but I don’t want to get too carried away with that. It just seems a little bit self-absorbed and pretentious to think that I actually have something worthwhile to share.

I’m sure there is a balance to be found, but for now I am still searching for that. I’m writing because I really truly enjoy it and if someone out there enjoys reading it, then that’s even better! I pray that the Lord will continue to guide my path and reveal things to me that He wants me to share. I am merely the vessel.

Since it is New Year’s Eve … I have been thinking out loud about goals for the upcoming year. I haven’t really ever been a big “resolution” person, but there is definitely something wonderful about having a clean slate, a fresh start so to speak, for a whole new year. I don’t really see the point of waiting until January 1st to make a big change though. We get a fresh start every day! His mercies are new every morning!

Let’s talk about resolutions for a minute. The word resolution is defined as “a firm decision to do or not to do something.” I don’t know about you, but “firm decisions” don’t work for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am really good at following rules and being rigid with myself. I am actually too good at it. In fact, it’s what gets me into trouble. Eating disorders and perfectionistic, workaholic tendencies thrive in an environment of rules and rigidity.

Now, let’s talk about goals for a minute. The word goal is defined as “the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.” Goals are fabulous and we all need to have goals. Goals help us focus our time and energy, form plans and live a purposeful, intentional life, which helps us to feel accomplished.

What are my goals for the coming up year you ask? I have two overarching, somewhat intangible goals, which are simply to be kind to myself and to find joy and meaning in every single day. I have some other more tangible goals as well … you know like to run a marathon under 3 hours, save enough money to buy a house, conquer the world … things like that.

I have been thinking out loud about the idea of writing a short blog post every day. As part of my whole goal to find joy and meaning in every day, I thought that maybe sharing something every day would help me to stay accountable with that goal. But perhaps, that makes it seem too much like a resolution. I resolve to post every single day. Yep, sounds too rigid. Maybe I will just try to take a picture of something meaningful every day and then share my pictures with you guys once a week. This one is still a work in progress …

The point is that it is way too easy for me to slip into a routine of just surviving life, not really living it (if that makes any sense). The blog has become a way for me to articulate the meaningful events and the important thoughts. Choosing what to write about helps me to discover meaningful things even in life’s simple moments. I promise it won’t be 365 posts about coffee, y’all. Don’t fret.

Part of this whole find joy and meaning in every single day is inspired by one of my all-time favorite quotes by Marcus Aurelius (forgive me if I have shared this one before) … It says, “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” I just love it. Absolutely love it. Every. Single Day.

The other part is inspired by my grandmother, Momel. She passed away in 2010, but I still think of her often. One morning last week I was out throwing the ball for Brooks (part of our daily routine) and happened to notice the beautiful sasanqua tree in the yard. I’m sure the tree has been blooming for quite some time and yet, I hadn’t noticed it. My grandmother loved that tree!

I can’t really explain it now, but for some reason, the moment when I first noticed the blooms was a big moment for me. I was a wonderful reminder that I need to slow down and enjoy the beauty (and also the joy and meaning) in everyday life.

Speaking of coffee (we were talking about coffee, weren’t we) and while we are still thinking out loud why in the world is it that coffee beans smell so heavenly? Don’t get me wrong, I like the taste as well, but the smell of the beans is so much better than the taste. Every now and then I make the coffee at work, and I always take a deep breath and just inhale that wonderful aroma before I start the pot.

Being the curious person that I am, I decided to do a little bit of research on this phenomenon. Apparently, the fact is that although we have sensors on our tongue, eighty percent of what we think of as taste actually reaches us through smell receptors in our nose. When you swallow the coffee, this sends a burst of aroma up the back of the nose from inside the mouth, activating the second sense of smell in the brain that is less receptive to the flavor, causing a completely different and less satisfying sensation than when you just take a big ‘ole whiff of the container.

There you have it. Science.

What are you thinking about today? What are your goals for the upcoming year?